I had one student who hated coming to math class. I knew if we stayed on this path the entire year, neither one of us would enjoy the year. So I changed my approach.
Before long, she was asking questions, staying after class for my help, and beaming with a newfound sense of accomplishment when it came to her homework. She even told me, “You’re my favorite teacher!” and “I love math.”
How did things change so drastically?
I worked on my relationship with her, and I showed her I cared about HER. Here are 5 ways to develop positive relationships with your students.
#1 Do what you say you’re going to do to develop a positive relationship
One way to develop positive relationships is letting students know that they can count on you. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through on it. This helps build trust.
In my classroom, my students knew that I was going to follow through, especially when it came to discipline. I let them know when I would call home to speak with a parent, and I followed through. Or if I said that we would have an extra 10 minutes at the end of the day for free time if the students focused and got everything done that we needed to, I made sure they got the 10 minutes, and sometimes would give them a few more.
For many students, they’ve unfortunately learned that people will often say one thing and do another. Don’t let them learn that from you. 
#2 Apologize when you make a mistake
Teachers are human. It’s ok to make a mistake, but to keep a positive relationship or continue to work towards a positive relationship, we must admit when when we’ve made a mistake. As adults, modeling what should happen when we make a mistake is a valuable learning moment for students.
I remember a situation where I was short with a few of my students regarding a situation with another student. I was stressed out that day and should not have been short with them. After the situation occurred, I pulled the 3 students aside and apologized to them. They were appreciative that I took the time to apologize to them. By modeling for our students what to do when we make a mistake, we show them how to respond when they make a mistake.
#3 Talk to students about things that have nothing to do with academics
Learn about your student. Find out the student’s likes and dislikes, and what the student enjoys doing outside of school. Bring up those things that you’ve learned about your students throughout the year.
I had a student that lived for baseball. My boys do too. I regularly talked to the student about how his baseball team was doing, when games were, and how practice was going. This is what was important to him and it helped create a relationship. Other teachers sometimes had a difficult time with him behaviorally, but I never did and I’m sure it’s because of our relationship.
Another student loved to watch movies. He went to the movies with his family almost every weekend. At the end of the day, he loved to tell me about the latest movie he saw, especially since I didn’t like scary movies and those were the ones he usually saw. He loved to watch me cringe!
#4 Help students share their gifts with the class
Not every student is going to excel at academics. However, those students that don’t excel at academics excel at something else. Find out what that something else is and incorporate it into the classroom as much as possible.
One of my students didn’t excel at academics, but he was an amazing artist. When creating bulletin boards, I had him create artwork that went along with it. He was so excited to show his parents his artwork adorning my bulletin boards when his parents came into the room for conferences.
#5 Celebrate each individual
I love sending positive postcards home to parents, or calling or emailing them. All students are amazing and special and deserve to have their teacher say something positive about them.
Parents love it when I call them just to tell them how great their child is. While unexpected, it makes a huge difference in developing positive relationships with your students (and parents!). Here is a freebie to easily send a positive note home with your student.
Teaching is a lot of work, but the school year will be much smoother when you develop positive relationships with your students!
